Swinging for the fences…

In the memory of George Steinbrenner and in light of last nights Home Run Derby… I give you another baseball analogy.

You see I’ve done a lot of things for the opposite sex and most of the time I end up looking silly.

Where did the ball go?

It all started in college, one of the first girls I ever entered into a “sorta relationship” with was also the manager of our basketball team.  I just found something about her extremely attractive, we were tumultuous and irrational at the best of times.  That didn’t stop me from giving her my first ever basketball jersey (like Jr. high team) as a “remember me” token. She always went to sleep in it, so I told her she could keep it and it would feel like I was always with her when I went home for the summer.   That summer she cheated on me and later on in the summer she failed to tell me till after I had bought my ticket to come see her that she was currently seeing someone else.

Swing and a miss…

I think I put my back out

Second year in college I feel prey to this black haired beauty, quiet and extremely mysterious. (That’s what I told myself)  We hung out lots, turned into great friends (that was my red flag)… I bought her a Michael Jordan basketball jersey for Christmas, FYI – I think her folks liked me more than she did.  Anyways one night in a drunken haze she proceeds to tell me that my race was a slight issue, and then on another drunken night she hooked up with my good friend at the time.  They started seeing each other and there wasn’t much I could do about it. (Interesting feeling seeing a girl you like holding hands with your friend)

Swing and a miss…

No one saw that right??

When I transferred schools I met this incredible girl (who will forever be the one that got away) she was the complete package.  We’d hang out at school when we had the chance, she’d even invite me over for more one on one hang outs.  I always declined her invites and ended up dating a serial cheater who towards the end of our 4 month relationship made out with a guy at the bar in front of me and some of my friends.  Not to get into great detail… but one girl turned to pot head and then joined one of the more suspect religions.  The other has a great career and recently attended the world cup in South Africa…  I’ll let you take a wild guess on who!

Swing and a miss…

I’ve sent flowers, I’ve wrote letters, and bought gifts… I’ve done it all in the name of meeting someone.

All in the name of making a connection…

But don’t feel sorry for me or think I’ve wasted my efforts because the way I see it I’m like a major league slugger.  Sure I’ve swung hard and missed, and sure when I’ve missed I’ve looked silly… catching nothing but air as the ball goes into the back-catchers glove.

The thing you need to realize is that I’ll never step to the plate and bunt, or lay one over second base just so I can get in the game.  I’ll never start seeing someone or engage in a relationship out of the fear of being lonely.

When I step to the plate… I’m swinging for the fences, so sure I might miss but when I make contact… When I Make Contact!! There will be no doubt where that ball is going… It’s going deep, it’s going far, and it’s going out of the park!!

Chicks dig the long ball!!!

And that means I’ve finally made the connection that I’ve always wanted… HOME RUN!!!

16 responses to “Swinging for the fences…

  1. Keep reaching for the fences! I’ll cheer you on as long as you don’t dope up (i.e., change colognes, Ed Hardy shirts, corking your bat).


  2. I love this post. Keep ’em comin!

  3. i love you.

    …whoops… that slipped out.

  4. GourmetRambler

    What a great analogy! I like your perspective. And it really does take only one hit. That is what I keep telling myself as I swing and miss. Keep ’em comin’! It’s gonna happen… happen sometime…maybe this time…maybe this time you’ll win! (or I, who knows) *The last bit shamelessly stolen from Cabaret the musical.*

  5. …the ladies like it when you go far and deep…

    haha you’ll hit your home run in no time son!

  6. I always say go hard or go home…I was recently caught pointing around a room…calling myself a hottie like babe ruth called the homers *looks up* *points over the fence* *swing* *nabs stone cold fox*…I can always dream 😛

  7. I have to say, while I love this post, I’d been hoping for more.

    I mean, all the things you did were just sweet – I was hoping for tales of stripping down in front of a cafe and singing Randy Newman songs. Or wearing a sign around your neck with a hand painted portrait of her face. Or stalking.

    You know, something to sink my teeth into.

    • Ha, ha, ha…

      You wanted me to go all Mel Gibson and have recordings of voice messages I left? Instead of a anger laced tirade, it would be confessions of undying love…

      I’m sure those are out there… I’ve drunk dialed before 😉

  8. Maybe thats my problem, I keep bunting instead of swinging for the fences. But first I have to learn how to hold a bat… wanna teach me?

  9. I appreciate that you actually pursue. For some reason, there aren’t many guys who do that anymore…they like to see who else is around the corner, at least in L.A. I’m always impressed by the guys who know when they like a girl and go for it. Love the baseball analogy.

  10. Pingback: The Dog Days of Summer (Baseball Week at ClueXFour): Shenanigans All-Star Break « Clue-by-Four: Ramblings of a Jock Dork

  11. I love your extended analogy here. We have all been there and we all are going to continue to get a few hits, strike out a time or two, make a sacrifice, even hit into an inning ending double play.

    Hang in there. I know that one day, you’ll find the right woman to help you with your swing.

  12. wow! you. are. good. hmmm, sometimes i forget i guess… like all the other posts before me i will reiterate- keep swinging for the fences. you will make contact soon enough!

  13. onlinedatingquest

    Great outlook…. 😉

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