I’ve been on my fair share of first dates, and I’ve learned a thing or two. I understand that I’m not perfect, but I’m pretty easy to get along with. Here are just some of my personal tips for surviving a first date and ensuring a second date. (If that’s what you want)
Is this common knowledge?? You would think so…
(These are in no particular order)
- Don’t name drop – I’m on a date with you and I want to get to know you, the people you “claim” to associate with aren’t incredible important on the first date.
- Laugh when appropriate – Laughing at everything I say?? C’mon, I’m not that funny! Plus when you don’t laugh at one of my jokes it helps me gauge your sense of humor. Then I can tell what works and what doesn’t and if we find the same things funny.
- Offer to pay – We all know it’s a date and I’m going to pick up the tab, but please make it look like you aren’t expecting me to paying… Just a little.
- I said I was going to pay – We’ve done the who’s going to pay dance, after a little banter back and forth… drop it. Anything more than that and you’ve just crossed the line from thoughtful to annoying.
- Read and React – I would say don’t bring up ex’s or past relationships, but I’ve been on dates (that went well) where the conversation took on a life of it’s own. We were both comfortable talking about it so we went there. The key is to be fluid in the conversation and don’t force any topics, see where it’s going and react.
- A little silence is okay – Some brief pauses in conversation are okay, don’t be alarmed or feel like you need to say something to fill the dead air. As long as it’s not a deafening silence and both parties are looking for the door, you’re okay.
- Be yourself – Don’t order small or do things out of the ordinary because it’s a first date. If you’re usually a steak gal with a couple of beers, be a steak gal with a couple beers. That’s how I’m going to get to know the real you. (Really?? Who eats salad and gets water??) **If the real you puts food away like a sumo wrestler, then maybe coffee is a better first date.
- Don’t “WE” – I had a girl drop we in some way, shape, or form 6 times on the first date… “We’ve got to do this” and “we are going to get you doing that” and “we should do this”. Whoa, pump the brakes missy!! There’s me and there’s you… and there’s no second date. (please read this)
- Help me, help you – If I have something in my teeth, don’t sit there and look at it. Please point it out nicely so I don’t look like a jackass.
- Be honest at the end – When they say “I had fun, let’s do this again” Don’t say yes or tip toe around it if you don’t intend on going on a second date. They aren’t looking for another buddy, they asked you out and they clearly think it could work. Plus it’s easier to let a person down at the beginning because they have less invested. “I had a good time, but I don’t think it’s going to work for me” It might just be me, but I’d rather know after the first date if it’s worth the chase.
- Know your fashion comfort zone – Don’t wear something if you aren’t 100% comfortable in it. I can only watch you fidget with that “dress that might be a couple sizes too small but you think it makes you look good so you wore it anyways” before I start to wonder who dressed you. Also, I love heels on a women but please read this…
- Moderate eye contact – Don’t stare deeply into my eyes because then I’m going to get creeped out and don’t avoid my eyes all together because then it looks like your about to run for the door.
- Touching – If you’re into me and you’ve done a decent job at #5 on the list, a little touch/brush of my arm is a great and subtle way to tell me things are going well. Just don’t go overboard because you could send the wrong message, unless it’s the right message! Laugh + Arm touch + Hair toss + Lean in = I think I’m getting some 😉
- Don’t invite me up – Ignore the last part of #13!! The date went great and I think you’re awesome, if you invite me up my attention shifts and I’m only thinking about ways to score. If the date wasn’t great in my mind and you invite me up… I think “Well at least I can get some”.
- End the date like a romantic movie – If you like me, let me kiss you goodbye. If you don’t make sure there’s a decent distance between us when the date ends. Personally the best end to a first date I’ve had… Kissing on her door step in the rain. (Similar to that scene in Spiderman, except I wasn’t upside down and I wasn’t wearing a mask… Okay, maybe not that similar)
- Don’t take medication – If you have to take something, excuse yourself and head to the washroom. Don’t pop your pills in front of me and then go off about a health issue you have… NOT COOL!
- Stay off the cell phone – Don’t BBM/Tweet/Text on a date. Rude, annoying, and inconsiderate are a couple of words that come to mind.
Okay that was my rant for the day, if you have any tips… I’d love to hear them!