You got a text instead of a call?? Uh Oh…

Memo to all Men & Women:  If they’re really, really into you… THEY WILL CALL!

For me there’s a nervous excitement that accompanies calling a girl I’m really into, and it’s that feeling that makes risking getting rejected worth it.  I’ve played 21 questions (turned into 200+ questions) with a girl via Facebook email, and had text conversations well into the 100+ SMS range with others.  Yet I never picked up the phone and called them, because I was never 100% into them.

I’ve got some time to kill

The way I see it is everyone has a couple of numbers in their phone from the opposite sex, you know the ones you email/text when you need a quick ego boost or you’re bored.  I more recently had two, when things were getting a little slow on the lady front I could always text these two and do a little teasing.  Maybe make sure we were at the same place on a Friday night for some drunk flirting.  Things were always great when we would text or meet in a drunken haze.  Yet for some reason, the face to face interaction when sober was lacking something major.  What was it?? I really wasn’t overly attracted to either of them. I was more attracted to the notion that someone was into me.

One day I got a text from one of them basically asking me what my deal was because she couldn’t figure me out.  I could sense where this was going so I invited her over and told her “Any questions you have, ask away and I’ll answer honestly”.  In the grilling session, we talked about relationships, our ex’s, marriage, even the type of people we see ourselves with.  We talked about everything under the sun but the possibility of us.  I wasn’t going to bring it up because to me it was a moot point, but had she broached the subject I would have answered honestly.  It was a chemistry thing, she was cute but something about her caused me to be hesitant.  So since the Q and A session we haven’t texted or emailed and it got me thinking I need to do a little house cleaning.

How many people do we string along because they make us feel good??  This is a cross gender question, because by no means does one sex do this more than the other.  I’d venture to say we’ve all been guilty at some point or another.  And let’s face it, it’s hard to break off those relationships because they make us feel good… and whoever is on the hook likes to hang out because of the possibility.  We’ve all been on both sides of this equation to some degree. (Don’t kid yourself… you have)

So let’s cut ‘em loose, it’s time to put the “Release” into “Catch & Release”.  Like I said earlier, I did some house cleaning and purged my phone of a couple of numbers because I know how it feels to be on the hook.  I had a feeling I knew what those girls want from me, and I know for a fact I’m not willing to give them that.  So it would be quite inconsiderate of me to string them along for my own personal emotional gain.

*I know it seems a tad conceited to be thinking that these girls are solely focused on me, and I know that’s probably not the case… but I’m not privy to the rest of their male interest

11 responses to “You got a text instead of a call?? Uh Oh…

  1. Crap. Guilty as charged. I may need to do my own house cleaning.


  2. Even though I know its irrational, it is nice to cling to certain illusions and I think thats what we get out of those particular relationships.

  3. This blog hit particularly close to home — a little too close. 😉

    It’s definitely something I needed to read. Thanks! After work today, I’m going to do a little cleaning of my own.

  4. Congrats on choosing to be conscious about who surrounds you + who you exchange time with. Definitely worthy of some green buds. It’s only once you release that the ‘new’ comes flooding in.

  5. Nothing like a good spring cleaning 🙂

  6. I love the nervous excitement of the call. Pacing back and forth practicing what you’re going to say and then not sticking to it at all. The palm sweats that inhibit your dialing ability. Practicing the tone of voice you want to use. Do I want to sound laid back? Excited? Happy? Brooding? Getting off the phone after a successful call is an awesome feeling.

  7. good question, yo. and nice post.

  8. FF and I texted at the beginning of our relationship. Like NON STOP. It was most likely months before we had a phone conversation. Even now, when we have a disagreement, we’ll most likely work it out through text before we talk it out in person. It was what worked for us. I never felt like he just wasn’t into me (ok, maybe I did but that’s a different story) but our relationship wouldn’t be where it is today without all the text messages. Keep writing – I enjoy reading…and discussing 🙂

    • I understand what you’re saying, but I’m assuming you guys would text and then hang out in person on a regular basis. In some circumstances people text/email and that’s as far as it goes.

      I’ve only hung out with the girl I was referring to twice one on one in roughly 2 1/2 years, but we would text regularly. It’s those numbers I think we need to purge because we know nothing is going to happen.

  9. I do it too! And I, too, just started purging. Wish someone else I know would read this (because I can’t not answer him). 😉

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