There comes a time in a relationship when you need to ask yourself two major questions… A) Am I a boy or am I a Man? (girl or Woman) B) Am I dating a girl or Woman?? (boy or a Man) Up until December 2008 I’d say I was a boy, very confused and reckless to a fault. I was the one who stood at the mound throwing out mixed signals to my girlfriend like a major league pitcher. Constantly changing it up, saying one thing and doing another. (My screwball was un-hittable) Truth be told I had no clue what I wanted in life and was becoming more and more erratic as the years wore on in the relationship.
She eventually got tired of swinging, I threw to many balls… and she walked!
That whole experience was a necessary circumstance to facilitate a change in my behavior. I deeply regret that I had to break a heart to get to where I am now, but I’m a way better person for it. So you’re asking yourself… What’s the big difference between then and now? (I’m glad you asked)
In my experience as a boy I was extremely insecure and although I gave off the appearance of confidence, I really wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. This would lead to petty fights in my relationship, when the real problem was my uncertainty not some blanket issue I decided to harp on. I had this undeniable urge to be right, compromise and communication were the traits of losers in my opinion. (Cue more fights) I was extremely impatient with her and very cavalier with her feelings.
Impatient, starts fights, doesn’t get along well with others, withdrawn, and doesn’t pay attention… sounds like the report card of a troubled junior high kid. But looking back I essentially was a bad junior high kid and my relationship report card read a big F for FAIL! (What does your relationship report card read?)
Fast forward a couple of years and I realize now what I want, and more importantly I know myself. I’m comfortable in my own goofy, quirky, and slightly nerdy skin. I now have a quiet confidence that comes with age and maturity, rather than that boyish charm I so loudly hung my hat on. I’m more apt to listening first and speaking second, trying to fully understand a situation before running my mouth. I know I need to continue to grow, instead of thinking I know it all. Sure I’m going to slip up every once in a while (last weekend), but the difference is now I can admit I made a mistake.
Now I’m not saying everything is going to be blue skies and bubble baths if you date a Man/Woman, there’s bound to be some instances when their inner junior high kid comes out. All I’m saying is that the chances of miss-cues and mixed signals are a lot less.
I know I’ll be gratefully when I meet someone who I feel will match me mentally, physically, emotionally. And maybe that’s the biggest difference between a boy(girl) and a Man(Woman).
They know when they have a good thing and won’t let it slip away or take it for granted.
So as a rule for 2010, I’m only chasing Women… no more girls!