Chivalry is dying a slow and painful death

So this morning I read a blog by TheEngagmentProject on the tables turning on dating, and how the dating world seems to be on its head.  How girls’ are asking out guys and who the whole thing is messing up the dating ecosystem, it was actually kind of funny. (FYI – TheEngagmentProject is one of my new favorite blogs)  But after putting a little more thought into it this morning I realized that dating hasn’t flip-flopped, it’s just an equal playing field.  Social media has become the catalyst that guys needed to help alleviate some of the standard dating duties.

For example back in the day it was easy to point out Sleaze-ball McGee, Sleaze-ball McGee would hit on 10 girls at the bar over the course of a night before taking one home.  Now Mr. McGee goes stealth mode and signs up to internet dating sites.  He’s sent out 15 date request before lunch, and there’s no way for any unsuspecting woman to know that. (News flash… you’ve just been copy and pasted, 15 other girls got that exact same date request)  He’s after one thing and all the girls he emails have no clue… so they email him back and think this guy seems genuine.  FALSE! (I do realize that the odd time internet dating does work)

Or look at Match.com or eHarmony, guys don’t have to work at getting a girl anymore… no one does, because access is easy.  I remember when you’d meet a girl through a friend of a friend, you know the cute girl who caught your eye at a party.  You walked up and talked to her or maybe your friend’s friend put in a word and got you a number.  Then you nervously called her and set up plans.  Those days are far gone!! Now it’s… “What’s their name again?”  As we type it in to Facebook and pull up photos, instantly judge him/her before we even meet them.  Then we’ll text like inhumane lemmings rather than calling and get a true gauge of someone through the tone and pitch of their voice.

What happened to real interaction? We know too much about people before we see them face to face… I can tell you your favorite movie, your fears, where you’ve traveled, and even the next party you plan to attend before we meet for our first date. (How can it be a “chance meeting” if I know a girl I like is going to an event, and I go to the same event on purpose?)

So is the landscape of dating changing?  You’re damn right it is… unfortunately we’re all losing!  I try to fight it, but I’m just as hooked into the social networking machines as everyone else.

I’m still trying to be a gentleman, but chivalry is dying a slow and painful death… and social networking is its cancer.

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8 responses to “Chivalry is dying a slow and painful death

  1. first of all, thanks for the mention! you rock.

    second of all, i could not agree more. online dating and facebook and twitter and even google has changed the way we get to know people in such a huge way. gone is the initial chemistry! first comes judgment.

    maybe its not wrong, but it’s certainly different. i guess we’ll see down the road whether the relationships started in this new era have more or less staying power than the old-fashioned ones.

    hearts,
    Bea

  2. Oh, this is random. I’m following the engagement project around? Actually, this is entirely random.

    Anyhow, I suppose it depends on what you mean by “gentleman” and “chivalry”. I think both have been on life support for a long time and, I have to agree with Bea on this one (see, I can play nice too) it’s possible that this isn’t a bad thing. Again, this depends on what you mean by both of these words. I welcome clarification.

    I do agree that dating has become far less “personal” than it used to be. Texting is a very impersonal way to get to know someone, for example. Yet, it seems to be a crutch that most people use.

    • I just hear horror stories from girls and how guys out there are becoming more and more… strange. I guess I chose those terms because I’m trying to hold myself to a higher standard or a better code of conduct when it comes to dating.

      Like it was mentioned in the engagement project’s post… people just date around, and I don’t think people really learn anything when “dating” turns into a revolving door, and I think we’re starting to see a lot of that as the current generation matures.

      We’ll need to see how things play out to know if it’s a bad thing or a good thing…

  3. The horror stories aren’t just for women though, sometimes, they are about women. Read: http://cluexfour.wordpress.com/2010/03/13/crazy-trains-some-things-need-an-early-warning-system/ [shameless plug].

    Stories like this are the norm these days. Women are just as loco. Although, to be fair, they don’t go around sending their junk via SMS.

    • ha, ha, ha… shamelss plug = great story…

      I once got cornered at the bar because I didn’t call a girl for a second date and she demanded to know why. So no argument from me about the horror stories going both ways

      • It’s certainly a zoo out there. That is always fun. But, in today’s world, we have far too many self-absorbed people who can’t handle a little rejection. It’s very strange.

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention Chivalry is dying a slow and painful death « The fantastical ramblings of a chronic over-thinker -- Topsy.com

  5. Pingback: She’s about to Ejunkulate all in my grill « The fantastical ramblings of a chronic over-thinker

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