I’m hemorrhaging Digital Alimony… I think I need a Technical Prenup – Part 2

Ah, where were we… let’s jump right back into this retrospective of cell phone indiscretions.  The next three phones symbolize the darker period in my cell phone conquests.  They’re kind of like a relationship you didn’t really want to get into, and it was so much work from the start that you couldn’t wait for it to be over.

But it’s a race car?? LG 490

This phone was a mistake from the beginning, I had just broken my LG 535 and I desperately needed something.  At this point in my life I had officially become dependent on my cell phone.  All my contacts, all my text… it was imperative that I retrieved that information ASAP.  So when I got to the Telus store and the teenager working showed me all the phones they had and their respective price ranges.  All I could afford was the LG 490, and every fabric in my being said I shouldn’t get that phone.  The nice phones were way to expensive and of the ones I could afford the 490 was as good as it got.  So after I got over the fact that I had a cell phone that looked like a race car, things only got worse!  A) It was the first (and only) flip phone I ever owned and I hated it. B) It had stupid “Fastap” buttons, which meant all the letters in the alphabet were laid out in a uberlame fashion.  It was the first phone that I could receive Hotmail emails on and I could access MSN messenger, so that kept me entertained for a while.  It also had a camera and I could download special Telus ringtones, but this phone was so anticlimactic after I had the LG 535.  Needless to say when the screen broke on this one… I popped a bottle and celebrated.

Chocolate Slide?  Don’t mind if I do!  LG 8500

I was clearly going on an LG spree, for some strange reason I had a notion that they made the best cell phones.  Frustrated with the flip phone experience I had, I decided to go back to the slider.  I saw the Chocolate and instantly was drawn back to the glory days of the LG 535.  Ultimately I was crushed by the lack of spice this phone had, it was like a toothless guard dog.  Dropped calls left and right, tightly placed keys made for bad texting and instant messaging, it also had a brutal speaker phone.  But what really capped it all off for me was the customer service people at Telus.  They were a complete travishamockery, (a travesty, a sham, and a mockery all rolled into one) they weren’t helpful and didn’t seem intent on keeping my business.  When I made it clear to them that the phone they sold me sucked like hoobastank, they just noted that I was under contract and there was nothing I could do.  Oh but I showed them, I showed them good… I paid the cancellation fee and got out of my contract.  “Nothing I could do!” Oops, Pow, Surprise… how do you like me now!  I promptly jumped over to Fido for their month to month contracts!

Sure in Canada we call it a HipTop, but to me it’s a sidekick!  Danger HipTop 2

Two words to describe this… EPIC FAIL! The moment I moved over to Fido, they had just done a major restructuring and were no longer activating data plans on the HT2.  In laymen terms, your phone has all this super cool technology but you can’t use it, so have fun carrying around a book that can text and make calls.  The HT2 was the biggest phone I’ve ever owned, but the way the top screen flipped out was so cool.  Also it was unreal for texting, this phone took my texting game to a whole other level.  I was churning out 160 characters messages like it was my job, pop in a little lol or a =) for good measure.  I’d lull you to sleep with an string of well placed “ha ha ha”, then bam… WTF?  I admit this phone was novel for a while and a hit at parties, but I’m pretty sure it only lasted three months.  I couldn’t get email, couldn’t browse the web, I couldn’t even download ringtones.  At this point my ex Telus was looking might fine, but my pride wouldn’t let me go back.  The amount of money I sank into making the transition and ordering the HT2 off eBay, it was just too much work to turn around and go back to Telus. 

Part 3 – Cellular bliss, a coming of age story!

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